I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
