I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
