fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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