I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
