some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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