all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
