I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize