you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
