This dress was meant to end up on your floor
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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