Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.

(505): View more from New Mexico

The Rock won.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.

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(415): View more from California

Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(704): View more from North Carolina

Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her

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(910): View more from North Carolina

This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.

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(512): View more from Texas

I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.

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(512): View more from Texas

Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens

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(813): View more from Florida

Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!

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