I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
