Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Randomize