I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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