Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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