Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
