i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
