Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
