Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
