I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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