I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
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No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
PANTIES FOUND
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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