Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
