I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
