I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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