And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
All I want is dick and wine.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
