goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
