I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
