If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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