My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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