It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The air taste purple.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
