I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
