So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Randomize