I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
