So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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