He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I need a beard to bite.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
