I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
this hospital has no fireball
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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