Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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