weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
