Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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