Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
