did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
