After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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