did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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