Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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