Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
