We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
