apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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