You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Screwed.edu
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
