I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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