Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
