Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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