gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
