what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
