Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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