return my video game
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize