Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
