My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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