I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
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Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
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Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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