you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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