I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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