38 yer olds are good kisserssss
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You are the jesus of drinking
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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