She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
