For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
